I should've done it sooner
by Anythingsomethingwhatever
Summary: Sasori's P.O.V. SASODEI. Shounen Ai. This story will be based on this quote: “It's hard to let someone go who has touched your life. But, it hurts more to say goodbye when he was never yours yet changed your life the most."


_**This story will be based on this quote…(I think?): "It's hard to let someone go who has touched your life. But, it's much harder to say goodbye to someone who's never been your but touched your life the most."**_

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We've been really close since the day he kept bugging me. He said that he wanted to be friends but I ignored him. He poked my arm few times and he didn't stop until I glared at him. He said to me once again with a smile plastered on his face, "Wanna be friends,un?"

"Stop bugging me!" I said and looked away after saying that.

"I heard that you were famous because of your skills in puppetry." He said. I never knew an idiot would even know me. Was I that popular? I asked myself that day.

I ignored him again after that. For a moment, I heard scribbling. I quickly glanced at him but a flying paper plane crashed right between my eyes.

I grabbed the paper with my hand and read what's inside:

**Can I call you Danna? I really really want us to be friends!**

I wrote back at him,

_**Stop it with all of your nonsense, brat!**_

I threw the paper plane at him. A few moments later, a new paper plane landed on my desk. I opened it and read with my eyes half open:

**Please, Danna? T_T**

He's the stupidest person I've ever met; I replied back,

_**Fine. Just don't piss me off…**_

After I threw back the paper at him, he smiled and looked at me with a grin widely spread on his face.

That was when we started to hangout together. I used to leave him but he keeps on teleporting back next to me. When I tell him to scram, he pouts. I would look at him and I would always end up defeated. He always gets what he wants when he does that, like for example, clinging over at me arm.

It also came a day when we were on our way home; students from other schools just pop out from nowhere. And they kept saying the same thing: 'Nice girlfriend!' or 'You two look good together!' or sometimes 'What a nice couple!' It really irritates me but he would just look at me and say, "Danna, don't mind them…" Somehow, it's great to have that blonde with you.

We had a lot of experiences together both the good times and the bad times. I always catch him whenever he falls- I don't mean like love, it is friendship. You know… the times when he fails at a certain subject, I'd catch him by tutoring him. So, don't think as if it was something like that!

And then he suddenly showed up in front of me. He can be really annoying sometimes but…

"Danna! Come on! Snap out of your puppet thoughts already,un!" He quenched.

I glared at him, "Brat…!"

"Whaat?!" He said; his eyes filled with annoyance.

"What do you mean 'Whaaat?!' I should be the one saying that, brat." I mocked the way he said 'What.'

He pouted in front of me while I was busying laughing quietly. When his eyes got teary; I stopped laughing.

"Danna, you're so mean,un!" He cried.

"Brat, don't pout. You know that-" Before I even get to finish my sentence, his pout once again defeated me. "What **exactly** do you want from me this time, brat?"

His pout magically turned into a wide grin. "I finally found the person I like,un!"

Wow. That was really unexpected. "Who's the lucky person?" I said, sarcastically.

"Danna…! Anyway, I saw her this morning and I found my heart beating so fast. She's like a diamond that keeps on shining,un!" He said blithely.

"What do you want me to do, brat? Cry blood?" I said, turning away from his gaze.

"You're totally mean,un! Can't you even say 'I'm so happy for you!' to your best friend?"

I turned to him, "I'm so happy for you!" I fake smiled and looked away.

He crossed his arms. "Hmmph!" And after that, he stormed away.

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All of my classes have ended after many hours; a lot of assignments were given and there were also projects.

I'm used to these kinds of things. But what I'm worried about was that stupid blonde. I haven't seen him since lunch. We only have Art class together, which is in the morning. But he usually visits me before my classes. I didn't find it weird but it disturbs me.

I opened my locker and returned some unnecessary things. Before I close it, I noticed the picture of us right away. It was taken when he forced me to take some pictures with him at a random and girly photo booth, which he didn't notice. He smiled at every picture. But starting from the second picture, he tried to reach for my lips to make me smile. He didn't succeed at the end.

Just when I closed my locker, the person that I'm worried about just came across my way. He was waving with a smile in his face. "Hi, Danna!" He says.

I don't know how to return his smile… How on earth can a person smile? "Do you have assignments?" I asked him.

"Yeah. I got a few,un. But, can I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"How can I impress a girl,un?"

"What do you mean?" I frowned.

"Like I told you earlier, I already found someone I like,un. So, how can I impress her?"

"Brat…-"

"Look! There she is,un!" He pointed behind my back.

I turned to his direction and saw a brunette preppy girl. "You like that kind of person!?" My voice was so loud that I almost made him scared.

"Well, Yeah,un."

"Tsk."

"I'm going to her now,un. Bye!" He tried to walk through me, but I didn't let him; my chest quickly blocked his way. "Danna, let me through,un."

"Give me a reason to let you go with her!" I demanded.

He looked at her for second and turned back his gaze back to me. His blue orbs were just so beautiful. It's like I can stare at it all day long. "First," He spoke, "You're not my mother or my father. Second, you're but my best friend. Third, she's the first one I really liked. "Fourth, I want a-" He didn't finish the fourth reason and pushed me away. "There's no fourth reason,un! I'll call you later, Danna!" He ran as fast as he could to that stupid girl's direction.

_I realized that I was more idiotic than that blonde. Why did I let him go? I shouldn't have let him go. He's- He's mine. He can't be anyone else's. Why am I like this?! He isn't mine. He never was! So, why am I like this?! Deidara, how could you turn me into a monster?!_

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_I feel broken… Inside and out, me- the whole "me" is broken- I'm shattered to pieces. Why? Why do I feel this way?_

~Ring, Ring~

That must be him! And he's late!

~Ring, Ring~

Damn it! Where's my phone?!

~Ring, Ring, Ring~

WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PHONE?!

~Ring~

I searched for it in my bag. There, I found it. I grabbed my ringing phone and answered it immediately.

"Hello, Deidara!?"

"Danna? Are you alright,un?" God. I missed his voice.

"I- uhh- I'm fine. How are you?" I don't know what to say, my world seems brighter now.

"Are you sure,un?"

"Of course I'm sure, brat! How about you?"

"It's so nice of you to ask me that! I'm absolutely fine!" He said gracefully.

"What happened?"

"What do you mean,un?"

"You- never mind…"

"Okay! By the way, ****** and I went to the park today,un! I had so much fun!"

Wait-! I didn't hear the bitch's name… "What's her name?"

"******"

"I didn't hear it right, brat."

"**-**-**" He syllabicated but I still can't understand it!

"Okay." That was a stupid answer- Just pretend.

"Okay. Okay. And then I told her 'I'll buy you ice cream' but she disagreed to my suggestion and took me to a luxurious ice cream store with such flavors I've never heard before,un!"

"Tsk. How much does a cone cost?"

"A cone costs a lot, Danna! Maybe a hundred. And I told ****** that it's expensive. She just kissed my cheek and left me to melt like an ice cream kissed by the hot sun!"

"That bi- I mean, she already kissed you?!"

"Yeah. Why,un?"

"N-nothing. It's already late… You should go to sleep now, brat."

"But, Danna…" He whined. I missed that.

"There's still tomorrow…" Don't go… I don't want you to leave…

"Okay…" His voice slowly faded.

"Bye, Danna…"

"Go to sleep now, brat."

"Okay…"

I never said a word after that; I just hang up the phone.

It hurts…It hurts so much. It hurts so much now than it was before. I'm not broken- I'm dead. That's right, I'm dead. You killed me… Now- I'm dead.

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_The next day became so troublesome. Another day- another stupid day started. I thought I'm dead already but why am I still alive? There's no more reason for me to live… Is there?_

~DING DONG~

Who's there this early? Ugh. Everyone single thing makes my day worse! Damn it! Who is it-?!

"Hi, Danna!"

"Brat…" I growled. Wait- Why is he up early?! I should be the one waking him up! Damn it! What's wrong with me?! I must be dreaming.

"I'm here to take my bento box from you,un! I'm going to ******'s house today to pick her up to school,un."

"I just woke up… It's still early, brat…" I muttered. I want to know how he will react.

"Then I'll just buy my lunch at some random convenience store,un. Well…Bye,un!" He said briefly.

"Wait! Don't buy something random from a convenience store! You don't know where they came from!"

"No,un. It's clearly fine. I'll just drop over to ******'s house. I know that she'll treat me,un!" After that he left. I couldn't catch up on him. Something ate my voice - no my words. Why do you keep leaving?

You're mine…

Why do you keep going away from me…?

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"Ha ha ha! That joke is so funny, Dei!" I heard that bitch giggled with her arm wrapped around his arm. And how dare that bitch call him 'Dei'!

"I am,un?" I overheard him.

"Of course, Dei! And your 'un's are so cute!"

"Th-thank you,un." I saw him blushing while saying that sentence. I suddenly felt a fang in my chest- I didn't see what happened next after that… After all, I'm not feeling well lately…

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_More days passed and each day kills me when I see him with that fucking bitch. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me but IT FUCKING HURTS!_

I called him right when I got home to remind him for our **friendship** anniversary. He forced me to celebrate it each year. But how can he ever forget it, he's the one who set such a celebration.

I dialed his number. After four rings, he finally answered.

"Hello, brat?"

"Oh, is this Sasori-san?"

"Who are you?" My voice turned deeper and more serious.

"This is ******, Deidara's friend. He's out right now to buy ramen for both of us. He's been talking about you always-"

"TELL HIM TO CALL ME!!!" I hanged up. I threw my phone at the ground… It broke into pieces… like my heart.

_I can't understand what I'm feeling… I may be intelligent and smart but I can't understand what I'm feeling. When I'm all alone with him, I feel somewhat happy or my world turns into heaven. But when I see him with that bitch, I feel somewhat hurt and angry at the same time. Is this what they call jealousy?_

_But why am I feeling jealous about that bitch when that brat was never even mine? Should I just forget about this feeling? Or let myself get hurt over and over again? What's the right thing to do?_

~RING~

_**My phone rang. I ignored it. **_

~RING, RING~

_**It rang again. Answer it, Sasori.**_

~RING, RING, RING~

_**It's Deidara on the phone, Answer the fucking phone already!**_

I stood up and answered the telephone. "Hello?"

"Danna? Are you alright? ****** told me that you called,un."

Shut up, brat. I don't want to hear that bitch's name. "Where have you been?"

"To get some ramen for me and **-"

"And?"

"-that's all,un."

"…"

"Danna?"

"What?"

"Uhmmm… why did you call,un?"

"I just want to remind you something…"

"What,un?"

"Our anniversary is-"

"Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that,un!" He what?

"YOU WHAT?"

"I'm sorry,un. I was just busy about ****** that I forgot about it. I'm sorry… I know you understand." Oh, I UNDERSTAND CLEARLY!

"…"

"Are you okay,un? I said I was sorry… Please forgive me…Please? Please,un?"

"…"

"I'll make it up for you… Please… don't get mad,un."

"…Fine."

"Yay!"

"Tsk."

"Since our anniversary is on Saturday, let's meet up on our favorite restaurant by 4:00 p.m. Is that okay,un?"

"4:00?!"

"Is there a problem,un?"

"No… Nothing…"

"Okay, I'm going to make ramen for ****** now. Goodbye, Danna."

"Tsk."

"Ha ha ha. Cheer up soon,un!" When can I ever cheer up again?

"Whatever, brat."

_All I heard was his laughs slowly go away… Leaving me with a poisoned and broken heart. All I ever wanted was him. And I thought all he ever wanted was to be with me… How can he ever forget about our anniversary?_

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I was sitting down at a chair in our favorite restaurant, waiting for him. I seriously hate waiting. HE KNOWS THAT!

Waiters and waitresses came by to ask me if I would order anything; I would sometimes ignore them or say, "I'm waiting for someone." Maybe some of those waitresses thought that the person that I've been waiting for was my girlfriend. Girls are stupid… So how can I have one if I hate girls?

I looked at my watch – it's already 5:47 p.m. and he still isn't around. Where is that stupid brat?!

Another hour passed and I was still on the same chair, waiting for him. I totally got furious and went outside. I went in one of those phone booths in front of the restaurant; I called him.

His phone kept ringing, and ringing, and ringing, and ringing, and ringing. But he never answered. I tried redialing again… It rang and rang and rang. And finally…

"Hello, Deida-"

"Hi. Whoever you are please stop calling me right now. I'm not with my phone right now. I'm in the hospital with ******. So please, just call me later or tomorrow. Thank you." Stupid brat! Stupid bitch! Stupid! I'M SO STUPID! Damn that stupid message.

I tossed the stupid phone. I ran straight to my house; and locked myself inside my room. In my bed, I sat like a curled ball. I knew that I shouldn't be acting like this but tiny drops of water kept falling from my eyes. It won't stop falling even if I wipe it with my shivering hand. Please stop falling… I feel like a coward… Is this what they call tears? Tears of sorrow?

I've been in my bed for hours and hours until I finally fell asleep by midnight…

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I decided to go the hardware store the next day.

When I opened the door, something _**or rather, SOMEONE**_ blocked my way out. It was Deidara. "I'm sorry, Danna."

I immediately shut the door close; I even locked it. He kept knocking and knocking and knocking as he cries my name over and over again.

"Just… Leave me alone, brat."

"I won't stop until you forgive me! Please…"

"I SAID LEAVE!!!"

"Please hear me out. I never meant to-"

"DAMN IT! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU OR HEAR ANYTHING FROM YOU EVER AGAIN!!!"

I heard him crying after I yelled. He really did push it to the limit. Although I wanted to, I just can't. I'm too hurt and ashamed to face him.

"I-I- I'm sorry, Danna…" Those were his last words before he left.

Was it my fault? I think it's most certainly not. It's his fault for even falling to that bitch. And he chose that bitch than our anniversary… that's just not right.

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2 days had passed and he still didn't come to school. At first, I thought it was because he is still crying. On the second day, maybe he's with that bitch because they're both not around… But today, I think there's something wrong with him.

I borrowed my friend's phone and dialed his number. The operator spoke telling me that the person I'm calling is out of coverage. I got nervous for a second – Wait – not nervous… I'm anxious.

He has to be alright. Because if he isn't…I don't know what to do anymore…

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"Dei?!" I shouted. His house was dark, so I turned on the lights. Things were arranged like before when I used to visit him.

"Dei?!" I called again. His house was as silent as a graveyard. Is he home or not? Is he with that bitch again?! I hope not…

"DEIDARA, WHERE ARE YOU?!" I screamed.

I stepped on the first step of the stairs, and then the second, and then the third. As I get closer and closer I hear someone… as if that person is crying…!

I quickly ran to Deidara's room. I saw him there… Curled up like a ball. Plain white blanket covered his body and head; he was shivering.

I sat next to him and said, "You haven't been to school lately…"

He glanced at me but turned away immediately. "D-does it even matter?"

"Of course it matters, Dei."

"Wh-why?"

"Because you're my friend, Dei."

I thought I heard him mumble something. "What?"

"I said, I HATE YOU,UN!" Deidara screamed behind the white cloth. He stood up and tossed the white cloth to me. It was wet - wet with his tears.

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE!" He yelled.

"What are you talking about?"

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT I'M YOUR FRIEND IF YOU CAN'T EVEN BE A FRIEND TO ME?!"

"I- I don't understand…"

"I THOUGHT YOU ARE SMART,UN?! YOU'RE SUPPOSE TO KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!"

"What?!"

Deidara fell down to his knees; his eyes won't stop from watering… I really can't understand what's happening.

"I thought you care about me… But I thought wrong. So wrong…"

"I care about you, Dei! That's why I came here to check you up!"

"Can you say 'I forgive you' to me,un? Please?" His voice trembled.

"I- I forgive you, Dei… So please tell me…Why are you like this?"

"Th-thank you, Danna… Now I can go with my parents peacefully."

"What are you saying?! Where are you going?!"

"To England,un. Don't you remember,un?" He stood up once again but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at the door.

I stopped for a moment to think and memories flooded my mind right away. He is right… He is… going to England… and that's today…

"Goodbye, Danna." He turned to me and gave me a smile.

"Wait, Dei!" I ran after him and hugged him on his back.

"Don't go away, Dei… I beg of you… I don't know what I will do without you…" I cried.

"…What are you saying,un?"

"I got seriously hurt when I saw you with that bitch. I thought I was dead back then. You're my life, Dei… Without you here with me, I'll be nothing."

"…I don't love ******. I never did. She was just part of my stupid plan."

"What plan?"

"Didn't you notice,un? I've been trying to get your attention… I've been doing my best to stay here with you. So, I projected a plan. I asked ****** for help and she agreed to me. My plan was to get you jealous…but you never were jealous. It was a stupid plan because I finally realized that you'll never see me that way."

I went in front of him. My brown hazel eyes met his baby blue orbs. "I'll never let anyone have you or take you away from me… Remember that I'll be always there!"

I leaned closer to his face and kissed his lips. He responded to it passionately…

That's when we both realized that we felt the same thing for each other. Except that we just didn't spell it out to each other sooner and we ended up hurting each other's feelings. We both apologized and forgave each other. We even asked for his friend's forgiveness… the girl I kept calling bitch all the time.

His parents weren't disappointed at our relationship. Actually, they were happy for us. They didn't take Deidara away from me; they let him stay here with me.

Deidara moved in to my house and we never forget to say 'I love you' to each other everyday and every night.

Somehow, our fairytale ended up fair but a little bit crazy from the start. I'm glad that he's the person I fell in love with… Because there's no one that can ever love an idiot like him but ME.


End file.
